Anita Rubira Wilder Smith, 96, passed away peacefully on Thursday May 28th, 2026. She was the daughter of Theodore and Corinne (Burchard) Wilder and was married to Verity Carlisle Smith. Born in Philadelphia, she attended Germantown Friends School with her two younger sisters, where their father was the school doctor. During these formative years, she was deeply impacted by the Quaker values she learned. Growing up, Anita spent her summers in Little Compton, Rhode Island, enjoying the beach, playing tennis and going to Sakonnet Golf Club dances. At Vassar College she studied English and the arts. At twenty, she met and married her first husband Nicholas Van Slyck, settled in Dedham, Massachusetts and had three children.
In 1968 she married V. Carlisle Smith and together they had one child. Carlisle brought five children to their marriage. They lived a happy, full life in Dedham for half a century, raising a combined family of nine. Sitting high above the Charles River, their Bridge Street house was vibrant and inviting, open to friends, relatives, business associates, children, many pets and an array of teenagers looking for a home away from home. Anita and Carlisle loved to entertain and both had a festive, relaxed attitude welcoming people with fantastic food, drinks, good humor and conversation. Anita was physically active, enjoying figure skating, tennis, walks in nature and endless time on both of her properties, gardening, maintaining the grounds, and creating paths through the woods on the banks of the Charles.
While managing their large family, Anita remained committed to the greater Dedham community. She was a founding member and singer in the Dedham Choral Society, a Camp Fire Girl’s leader, a board member at the Dedham Community House, and a member of the women’s civic organization, The Afternoon Club. As an experienced mom, she volunteered locally as a “mentor mother” helping model positive parenting skills for new mothers.
Beyond life in Dedham, she travelled the world extensively over several decades with Carlisle for business and pleasure, connecting with people worldwide. Anita and Carlisle enjoyed multiple sailing voyages with both close friends and members of The Duxbury Yacht Club, to Maine, the Bahamas and beyond.
In later years, Anita and Carlisle spent more time at their property in Little Compton, and after Carlisle’s passing in 2017, she moved there full-time. Despite facing health challenges in her eighties and nineties, Anita never lost her core character, remaining an exemplar of equanimity throughout her life. Until her final days, she had her sense of humor, grace, kindness, as well as a love of singing, animals, nature, and sweets. She will be deeply missed by her large family and the many people whose lives she touched with her bright and playful spirit.
Anita leaves behind her three children, Pieter Van Slyck and his wife Marie, of Duxbury; Katrena Hartwig and her husband Ted, of San Antonio Texas; and Jennifer Wieting and her husband Carl, of Providence, RI. She also leaves five step children, Brooks Totlebensmith of California; Taylor Smith and his wife Michelle, of Plympton, MA; Carlann Welch of Portland, ME; Nathan Smith and his wife Natcha of Duxbury, MA; Margo Rush and her husband Kevin, of Shelton, CT. Additionally she is survived by her loving sisters Cynthia Wilder Ritsher and Judy Wood, as well as her devoted first cousin Stewart Burchard.
She was Granny Smith to the younger generations and will be greatly missed by her 13 grandchildren: Will, Emylee, Peter, Curtis, Josh, Jonathan, Marshall, Wilder, Eva, and Neena. Anita and Carlisle’s extended family was abundant, including Susan Troppman, the Ritsher, Smith, and McKee cousins, as well as Remy, Shelly, Lea, Heather, Gwyneth, Ariana, Beth Craver plus 19 great grandchildren.
She was preceded in death by her son Derek Wilder Van Slyck, her husband Verity Carlisle Smith, and her parents Theodore Stanley Wilder and Corinne Richmond Burchard Wilder.
The family will announce a celebration of life for Anita in Little Compton, RI, to be held at a later date. In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation in her name to The Audubon Society of Rhode Island at https://asri.org/