LAMBROS, Aphrodite “Ethel” (KAPONIKOLOS), a lifelong resident of West Roxbury, 100 years old, died peacefully at home of natural causes on December 29, 2024.
Ethel’s life was a testament to the values instilled in her by her parents, the late Costas (“Charlie”) and Antonia Kaponikolos, who emigrated from a small mountain village in Greece to America in the early 1900s and worked tirelessly 7 days a week to become the owners of the former “Charlie’s Café" on Centre Street, West Roxbury. Ethel grew up in the bustling atmosphere of the café and learned the importance of hard work and family responsibilities. From the time she was just a girl, she helped her parents peeling potatoes, washing dishes and other tasks before she was even tall enough to see over the counter. It’s no surprise she became an outstanding cook, preparing delicious meals and desserts for her family, friends and neighbors and keeping up with Greek traditions she valued.
When Ethel took the reins at “Charlie’s”, she faced the challenges of a male-dominated industry with determination in a time when women were still oppressed. She ran the family business but was declined a credit card in her own name. As the years passed and the café transitioned to new ownership, her “philotimo” (pride) shone through as she supported the new proprietors, celebrating their successes as if they were her own. She was proud to visit the restaurant and see the new owners thrive in the community she loved.
Ethel never had the opportunity to meet any of her grandparents but, following Greek custom, she was proudly christened “Aphrodite” after her paternal grandmother, but she soon became known to all as “Ethel”. In an effort to assimilate children of immigrants, her kindergarten teacher insisted that Aphrodite be given an easier name to pronounce. Aphrodite’s mother complied assigning her the name “Ethel” after a little girl she had lovingly babysat many years prior. Thus Aphrodite became Ethel from that moment through the rest of her long life.
Ethel’s dedication to her family and friends extended beyond the walls of the café, which was evident in the way she opened her home with hospitality to all who entered. The heart of her home began in the kitchen, as she expressed her love most with her delicious cooking. Sunday dinners were a regular and cherished event, a family reunion each week. Everyone was welcome at her table, and she delighted in serving you seconds. Even when Ethel could no longer cook for herself, her question to anyone serving her a meal was an emphatic “Where’s yours?” Ethel maintained an open-door policy and her home served as a haven for all her children and grandchildren during various stages of their life. There was always a meal and a clean bed for anyone who needed it.
Her mastery of both Greek cuisine and short-order cooking learned from the café demonstrated her versatility and ability to adapt to the needs of the family. Like any veteran waitperson, she knew exactly who liked what, akin to a secret handshake. Even a simple English Muffin prepared in the wee hours following “last call” as her excuse to check us at the door after an evening of frivolity in the city was something we secretly looked forward to.
In semi-retirement, Ethel worked for a local chiropractor and was ahead of her time in her belief that alternative medical treatment was a source of wellness; very much like her homemade Avgolemono soup, but Ethel’s favorite role in her senior years was babysitting her now-grown grandchildren. She never said no to a treat at the quaint neighborhood market for penny candy or slush and she was Grandmother Extraordinaire for many years managing the frenetic after-school rush be it kindergarteners or high schoolers, not only for her grandkids but also their friends who tagged along. With limited time between school dismissal and the start of after-school activities, her kitchen resembled a cyclone of hungry kids, backpacks, laughter and chatter filling the air while grilled ham & cheese sandwiches sizzled on the griddle and her arthritic hands still flipping the sandwiches with precision borne from years of practice. Quickly her kitchen would return to calm, and despite the avalanche of dishes that awaited her attention, the chaos brought her joy and a reminder of the lively warmth that family brought to her home. Her love for her grandchildren and great-grandchildren brought her immense joy to her last breath. Despite her impaired vision, her smile was never wider than when she recognized their footsteps approaching up her front staircase.
As the years went by, she enjoyed more simple pleasures such as morning coffee while admiring family photographs, magnifying glass in hand, or enjoying ice cream while engaging in a card game or art activity, better than any anti-depressant on the market. In nice weather, she loved sitting on her back deck acting as arm-chair supervisor for any renovation project within view and she was the self-appointed neighborhood historian about neighbors past and present, not always with accuracy but always with affection.
Ethel is survived by her devoted daughter, Evelyn (Lambros) Amrhein of West Roxbury and loving son Christopher Lambros and daughter-in-law Michelle of Glendale, Arizona; “Grandma” to four adored grandsons; Mathieu Chalonec of Ft. Myers, FL; Michael Lambros and his wife Cristina of Bedford, NH; Nicholas Amrhein of West Roxbury, MA; Mark Lambros of Glendale, AZ; and a treasured granddaughter-by-heart, Diana Gadsby of Hopkinton, MA.
Ethel was blessed to meet nine great-grandchildren; Christian and Le’Ana Chalonec, Marceline, Liam, Nathan and Teresa Gadsby, and her three youngest great-grandsons, Evander, Theodore and Lucas Lambros who lovingly called her Yiayia. Ethel delighted in their visits and found joy watching the children explore her collection of vintage treasures, particularly her cherished porcelain doll and antique Victrola record player. Visiting Yiayia was like a step back in time.
Ethel is also survived by many extended family members and friends who consistently reached out and brightened her days with thoughtful gestures of beautiful greeting cards, surprise flower deliveries, tasty treats or getting her hair coiffed. Ethel also enjoyed a personal visit from Mrs. Santa Claus, reminding her of the joy that friendship can bring, especially during the holidays. You’re never too old to enjoy the Magic of Christmas.
Ethel further leaves behind her wonderful care companions who brought her comfort and happiness over the last several years. We are grateful beyond measure for their help, kindness and patience as they listened attentively to Ethel’s endless trove of tales from her girlhood growing up in West Roxbury with dirt roads, streetcars and more and her visits with close relatives at their farm in Quincy including her visits to Wollaston Beach. Each tale was met with genuine interest and affection allowing Ethel to relive the moments that shaped her. Most importantly, Ethel was always shown respect, sincere friendship and compassionate assistance, enabling her to remain in her own home with dignity. A true bond was forged between Ethel, her caregivers and the entire family and we will forever cherish the impact of their kindness. Ethel’s end-of-life care in her own bedroom would never have been possible without their devotion.
Preceded in death by her first-born daughter Maria (Lambros) Chalonec, as well as many other cherished relatives, friends and neighbors whom she missed dearly, Ethel often expressed her gratitude for living a long and healthy life but commented that if you live long enough, you bury many you love.
A troubling secondary loss of loved ones began with isolation due to pandemic restrictions which carved an invisible barrier between life as we knew it and the seclusion of the pandemic. Ethel missed the daily routine and visits to the lovely Julia Ruth House Adult Day Social Center. More memories began slipping away, together with her own mobility decline and hence there were many friends and family that Ethel had not seen. Faces faded, often referred to as the “the long goodbye”, but in the deepest recesses of her heart, loved ones were imprinted upon her soul. Her nostalgic memories always stirred positive emotions.
As a member of the Greatest Generation, she lived her life with great humility. Despite suffering many losses in her life, she remained stoic and dignified. Neither grief nor disappointment were openly discussed, and an inside joke evolved utilizing the expression “chicken’s on sale”, when Ethel would ignore answering a tough question even when her mind was clear. It was Ethel’s way of showing absence of judgment. Through life’s ebbs and flows, perseverance, respect and caring were always foremost and forgiveness to self and others is a powerful gift that brings peace.
In Greek when someone passes, we say “Memory Eternal”; a reminder that as long as we remember someone, they will always be with us. While she may have departed from this world, her spirit will continue to thrive in the hearts of her loved ones.
Memory Eternal, dear Ethel. May you rest in peace.
Visiting hours will be held at the P.E. Murray - F.J. Higgins, George F. Doherty & Sons Funeral Home 2000 Centre St. West Roxbury on Monday, January 6th from 4-7pm. A Funeral Service will be held in the funeral home on Tuesday, January 7th at 12 noon, followed by a procession to Forest Hills Cemetery for Interment. Family and friends are welcome to gather for lunch immediately following interment at West on Centre, 1732 Centre Street, West Roxbury.
The family requests, please no flowers, but as it had been Ethel’s desire to feed everyone she knew, if you are so moved, please consider a gift to Ethos-Meals on Wheels. Meals on Wheels assist those who are experiencing a decline in mobility or health who may be hungry or alone and struggling to remain independent. Ethos, 555 Amory Street, Jamaica Plain, MA 02130, Tel: 617-522-6700, www.ethocare.org/cause/honorin-memoriam