Toby Whitehead passed away peacefully on Sunday, March 3rd, in the arms of the love of his life Karen Whitehead whom he called his darling. He fought a courageous 17-month battle with a very aggressive form of bladder cancer. He was born in 1962 in Salt Lake City, Utah, and is predeceased by his parents James and Patricia Whitehead, and his brother Donald Whitehead. He is survived by his children Matthew Whitehead and Monique Carriger, of Fredericksburg, VA, and his stepchildren Rebecca Eddy and Christopher Payne, his three granddaughters Bailey, Freya, and Hannah. He also leaves behind his brothers James and Edward Whitehead of Salt Lake City, Utah, and Stephen Whitehead of Idaho Falls, Idaho. As well as many nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, sister-in-laws’, son-in-law, and father-in-law. He was a devoted husband to Karen and, a dedicated father and grandfather.
Toby began his 44-year career as a pipe fitter and welder working for Gulf States Oil in California, before moving to Connecticut in 1992. He joined A/Z corporation in 1996 and served in several roles including a certified welder, inspector, project manager and superintendent with the A/Z construction management team. Throughout his 27 years at A/Z, he demonstrated his expertise in a multitude of areas and approached every challenge with expert knowledge and his trademark sense of humor. His work ethic was as unwavering as was his commitment to comic relief, which he often used to, make the workday more enjoyable, to de-escalate work situations, relieve tense moments and to entertain anyone and everyone who would listen.
In 2013, Toby found Karen through a dating website. To no surprise of anyone who knew him, Toby invited Karen to meet at a comedy club for their first date. Getting to that first date was no small task for Toby - because if you know Karen, you would know that she ran a full background check before agreeing to meet. They married in 2018 and shared a life filled with laughter, faith, and love. They enjoyed time traveling together on cruises, trips to the Caribbean, and Mexico, and visiting friends around the country. They had big dreams and goals for their retirement relocation and explorations.
In September 2022, when Toby was diagnosed, Karen remained by his side through every step of his journey and was his caregiver and devoted patient advocate. With each hospitalization came a whole new audience. Toby won the hearts and minds of each PCT, housekeeping, nurse, doctor, and surgeon who walked through the door and was spoiled with candy and ice-cream by the dietary staff. You knew it would be a good joke when Toby started laughing before finishing his joke. Often, the doctors would look down at their watches as they had other patients to see. Toby would look up with that spry smile and tell them that none of their other patients were as fun as him and he wouldn’t be more than another minute.
Toby was a devout man of faith and a member of Faithway Community Church. His church family rallied to complete the deck and yard projects he hadn’t completed prior to his surgeries. He leaned heavily on his faith throughout his battle, and the support of his church family, prayer warriors, friends, colleagues and his A/Z work family. Your visits, cards and phone calls were very much appreciated.
Toby and Karen are so thankful for the support of the Yale Urology and ICU staff at Westerly Hospital. The Backus Hospital staff (especially the interventional radiology team, same-day surgery team, the A2 staff, and the A3 staff and hospice teams). A special thanks to the ECHO oncology staff, who always provided outstanding care, smiles, compassion, and concern, and truly enjoyed Toby's humor to lighten the mood each day.
Visiting hours:
Friday, March 15th from 4 to 6 pm at the Anderson Winfield Funeral Home, 2 Church Street, Greenville, RI 02828.
Saturday, March 16th immediate family will hold a private funeral service at Anderson Winfield Funeral Home
A Celebration of Life for Toby’s family, friends and colleagues will be held on Saturday, March 16th from 11:15 am to 1:50 pm at the Smithfield Elks Lodge located at 326 Farnum Pike, Smithfield, RI 02917. Unfortunately, we will NOT be able to accommodate any children at the event.
At Toby's request, all guests should come prepared to share their funniest story or their best Toby joke. He wants to hear the laughter and not the tears.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the ECHO Cancer Foundation in memory of Toby Whitehead. Echo Foundation - General Donations Eastern Connecticut Hematology & Oncology Or may be mailed to the Echo Cancer Foundation - Medical Office Building, 330 Washington Street, Suite 220, Norwich, CT 06360
Eastern Connecticut Hematology & Oncology