LIMERICK – Capping off a rich and full 81 years of life, Richard Tolar died Feb. 23, 2024, after kicking Death’s ass for decades.
Born into a childhood of horrifying neglect and abuse, Richard often said the safest and most comfortable bedroom he ever had as a kid was the beat-up old car in his grandparents’ yard. “The window was broken out, but it was parked under a tree, so it mostly stayed dry when it rained.”
As would become a theme in his life, Richard rose above circumstances that would break a lesser man. At age 17, he paid a stranger $20 and a bottle of booze to sign off as his parent so he could volunteer to serve in Vietnam at a time many men were fleeing the country to avoid such a fate. He served his country with honor and pride as a helicopter mechanic in the Army, where he once took a Huey for a joyride when he noticed it wasn’t tied down during an engine check… despite having no pilot training.
After serving with honor in the Army and Navy, Richard married the love of his life, Bonnie (VanPortfleet), who he would spend the following 61 years with before her passing in 2019. He broke the cycle of abuse by becoming for his children the wonderful, loving father he never had. He was adored and embraced by his children and neighborhood kids alike as “the cool dad.”
Following Bonnie’s death, Richard left Grand Rapids for the woods of Limerick, Maine to spend his golden years being doted on and treated like the king he was by his daughter, Sue, and son, Shawn. Richard spent countless mornings enjoying coffee and sunshine on the deck, he went on his first (and last) kayaking adventure, and loved watching his bird friends who flocked to his window feeders daily.
Richard leaves behind two adoring daughters, Sue Stevens and Chris Seadorf. Sue made sure her dad had everything he could ever want in his final years, including a whole lot of hand-mixed chocolate malts (his favorite) and home-cooked meals, and he was always so proud of Chris’s military service. He also leaves his best friend and son Shawn French, a loyal sidekick who was always right there to keep him from falling when his vertigo kicked in.
His grandchildren, Kim Pinkham and Robert Hubscher, and great-granddaughter Camille all held a very special place in his heart and he was so proud of them. His loyal canine companions, Lu and Merlin (Mugwump), miss their grandpa terribly and have been camped in his recliner since his passing.
The family would like to extend their heartfelt thanks to the angels at Hospice of Southern Maine, who swooped in to ensure Richard’s final days were peaceful and painfree. It is impossible to convey the depths of our gratitude.
Richard survived one of our nation’s darkest wars, several bouts of cancer, a type of aneurysm that’s generally fatal, multiple back surgeries, and severe PTSD, while somehow never losing his calm, gentle, and humble spirit, right to the very end. His life was a testament to perseverance, overcoming obstacle after obstacle with dignity and honor.
In lieu of flowers, please join us in raising a mug to Richard Tolar, a Vietnam vet, a loving father and friend, and one of the all-time greats. He will be missed beyond measure.
Arrangements have been entrusted to Chad E. Poitras Cremation and Funeral Service, Buxton, www.mainefuneral.com
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