Adeline “Addie” Eve Ansell (They/Them), born June 11, 1990 in Beverly, MA, died peacefully surrounded by family and friends and with love and tender care on August 11, 2023 in hospice at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH), after almost eight years of treatment for BRAF Melanoma Cancer at the same hospital.
Addie grew up in Boston. Their childhood in Dorchester and New England was filled with the sweetness that their spunky and kind nature brought to every person they loved and every activity they participated in. Whether it was classes at DotArt; playing on soccer and baseball teams where they were often found contently picking flowers in the outfield or distracting teammates while they sang, talked or joked (much to the chagrin of their coaches); playing in the waves at Nantasket beach; rainy Sunday’s exploring the ToysRUs aisles; day and sleep away camp adventures performing in plays or making movies; April vacations in Falmouth on Cape Cod staying at the Admiralty Inn; trips to the Rhode Island shore and the Fantastic Umbrella Factory; visits from and countless sleepovers at their Grandma Pat/GPP’s baking together and laughing at HGTV home shows; singing along to their favorite Minnie Mouse, “Free to be You and Me” or “Titanic” CDs; reading “Calvin & Hobbes'' and “Peanuts” with their Grandparents Sam and Na’ama; and singing and learning to whistle with their Grandpa John. As a teenager, Addie loved laughing along with their parents, and later with Ivan, to Mystery Science Theater movies as well as other family favorites: “Waiting for Guffman”, “Best in Show '' and “Mighty Wind.” Addie’s laugh was the best!
Addie was such a passionate Red Sox fan that when the team lost the playoffs one year, they came into the kitchen the next morning, saw the headline on the Globe’s sports page, and through howling, devastated tears tore the entire paper to shreds. Addie was passionate! Despite swearing to never root for the Red Sox again, Addie rebounded as a faithful fan, participating in the “Read your Way to Fenway” program at the Codman Square LIbrary and going to the reward game days with Gideon and the dads of Dorchester with their winners. Needless to say, when the Sox won the World Series in October of 2004, the fall of Addie’s freshman year of high school and within view of Boston Arts Academy, Addie was beyond thrilled. Naive to the ways of high school, they went to school in the morning and then cut school for part of the day to attend the parade festivities, returning for classes and rehearsal in the late afternoon. A young teacher had to explain to Addie that when you cut school... you cut the whole day.
Addie made so many wonderful memories of family adventures in New Hampshire: the Fun Spot in Meredith; scrambling over rocks while hiking Mount Monadnock; East Hill Farm stays; skiing and snowboarding at Tenney, Gunstock, and Breton Woods; Canobie Lake Park; camping with the Lefsky, Wasilewski, and Weingarten families and visiting Ivan at his beloved camp, to name a few. Addie made life more of everything good: exploring local sites and museums in Boston with family or on school field trips; endless playtime of Barbies with their mom or marathon reads of the “Moomintroll” books with their dad; or just playing and relaxing at home with their friends, was sweet and fun with Addie. Addie had an obsession with Minnie Mouse as a child only to be replaced with one for Stitch as a young adult that carried into adulthood. As an introvert with some strong extrovert tendencies, Addie also filled life with some rule bending and breaking as well. Addie was a sweet kid with such a gravelly voice that a family friend, David, dubbed them, “two-pack-a-day Addie.” With an adorable pout that could stop traffic, people often stopped to remark on Addie’s gorgeous flowing red curls, whether in bows or tucked under a backwards baseball cap, to ask if their hair was colored and permed. Addie didn’t miss a beat and would reply, “No” with their signature disarming smirk.
Addie attended Ashmont Nursery School and Neighborhood House Charter School in Dorchester. They graduated from Cambridge Friends School ‘04, Boston Arts Academy ‘08, Bryn Mawr College ‘12 with a Bachelor’s in Growth and Structure of Cities and UMass Boston ‘18 with a Master’s in Education. During their high school years, Addie worked at the Food Project, Roxbury, MA in many roles and was nominated by that organization for the prestigious Posse Scholarship. After Addie won, they became part of Posse 8 at Bryn Mawr College, where they made lifelong friends and amazing memories on campus. During Addie’s study abroad semester in Quito, Educador, they actually experienced a military coup. Completely unaware of a government imposed nighttime curfew, Addie wandered the streets of Quito alone, a bit baffled, but unalarmed and unafraid, about where everyone else in the city had gone. That was Addie in a nutshell. Most importantly, Bryn Mawr College is where Addie met the true love of their life and future wife, Ashley Mallon.
Holidays and all excuses to gather with loved ones were so important to Addie: at Halloween parties Addie and Ashley wore hilarious matching or themed costumes delighting friends at their parties and their Rukowski-Lefsky-Kandel family gatherings; Christmas grab bags at their in-laws Sheila and Ed’s home or their Aunt Eileen’s Christmas crackers and crowns noisy fun; Passover seders and Hanukkah menorah candle lighting at their Ansell grandparents’ home with Seth, Zizi and Rick, or by zoom with extended family, during the height of Covid. Addie’s Uncle Mike and Aunt Stephanie and their daughter Clara, Addie’s youngest cousin, visited Boston in September 2022 before leaving for a year abroad; thankfully, Addie still had some energy, even after a summer of tremendously difficult T-Cell therapy, to engage with Clara in UNO card matches and enjoy their cousin’s ten-year-old sense of humor. Addie’s last two Thanksgivings were both landmark ones. In 2021 Addie, Ashley and Ivan, along with their five first cousins through their Grandpa Pat Kandel/GPP and extended family, made a day of memories that are even more precious now. Ashley and Addie also made beautiful memories, Thanksgiving 2022, when the entire Mallon family gathered in Pittsburgh, for the first time in decades, just days after Addie left MGH. Addie was so happy to see their cousin Leya, whom their mom and Aunt Anna, secretly arranged to visit Addie; Addie and Leya had not seen each other since before Covid hit, making it an extra special reunion, for what would sadly be Addie’s last Christmas-Hanukkah season. Addie’s last Passover-Easter, 2023, included baskets filled with their favorite candies and the world’s fastest, most raucously fun seder with Ashley, Ivan, and cousins Ronan and Ainsley.
Addie also loved quiet weekly Shabbats at home with Ashley, or by FaceTime with family, and the loud, joyous, delicious food-filled ones, with their Winthrop friends. Sukkot was Addie’s favorite Jewish holiday to celebrate with their friends Nellie and Ashley in Winthrop, where Addie attended services at Temple Tifereth Israel. As they grew into adulthood, Addie (who became a Bat Mitzvah just two weeks after their treasured brother Ivan’s early arrival in 2003) embraced their Judaism and Tikkun Olam: a commitment to healing the world through action. They participated in a large variety of organizations giving speeches and leading workshops. Addie was a devoted leader and an active participant in sit-ins; they raised money for IfNotNow Boston, Kavod Boston, Never Again Action, National Bailout, and National Bail Fund all the while growing and living their faith. At the height of Covid, together with Ashley, they welcomed a new housemate and friend, Victor, sponsoring him through BIJAN: Boston Immigration Justice Accompaniment Network. Addie had a faith and spiritual path defined by being completely true to themselves, in addition to being an amazing ally to those most disenfranchised by poverty, race, sexual and gender identity, religion or culture.
As a toddler and young child, Addie often visited the classrooms that their Uncle Matt and their mom taught in Boston Public Schools. They later launched their own career in education. Addie began their educator journey with the Theater Offensive as a summer curriculum intern. They were also a “Lator Gator” after-school teacher at the Shipley School, Bryn Mawr, PA; and worked at three urban garden programs in Philadelphia: as a Community Garden Intern with the Norris Square Neighborhood Project, maintaining two urban gardens and planning after school workshops, as well supervising the training for twenty summer youth participants; a Youth Development Summer Crew Leader with the University of Pennsylvania and at the Urban Tree Connection, planning curriculum, facilitating and teaching the organization's first year-round high-school youth program, creating weekly lesson plans focused on food justice. Addie had an incredible work ethic and thrived in service jobs as well; their coffee shop career before, during and after college included Flat Black Coffee in Dorchester; UnCommon Grounds, Bryn Mawr College; a brief stint at Earth Cup and Famous 4th Street Delicatessen, Philadelphia, PA.
After returning to Boston in 2014 with Ashley, to be closer to Ivan and watch him grow up together, Addie worked at the Federation of Children with Special Needs and as a Paraprofessional educator at Brookline High School’s Excel Program. When not honing their teaching skills as a student teacher at Tech Boston High School, Dorchester, or completing coursework for their masters in education, Addie waitressed at Legal Seafoods all the while undergoing cancer treatments. Upon completing their master’s work, Addie began working as an English Language Arts teacher at Mary Lyon Pilot High School in Brighton, Boston Public Schools, where they made a huge impact on their 9th and 10th grade students. Addie created a loving, accepting and safe learning environment, in their classroom #217, opening their students’ eyes to the beauty of literature that spoke to their lives and developing their own writing that embraced their identities.
In their five years at MLPHS, Addie’s influence reached far and wide; Mx. Ansell’s classroom was a safe, warm-and-welcoming-all-inclusive one that many emulated. Addie also had an amazing ability to hold themself and colleagues accountable for working on their own biases, thereby improving everyone’s ability to be better allies to and educators of their teenage students. Addie did all of this with kindness, compassion, and humor. A consummate professional, Addie had the satisfaction, as an educator, of leading Shakespeare workshops and seeing their students master the Bard’s prose; helping at prom nights as a chaperone; encouraging students to use responsible risk taking on ski, skating, and ropes course trips; racing around on scavenger hunts in downtown Boston with their teens; giggling through hungry hippo ice breakers; spending hours after school and on weekends coaching their students with the Boston Debate League; and participating in the school’s chili contest, winning a potholder for best original recipe, and a staff lottery, winning a very coveted MLPHS crew windbreaker. If the letters and cards from their students and colleagues over the years are of any indication, the impact Addie made in their five years in BPS was profound and will last forever.
Addie loved reading fiction and poetry immensely, writing their own poetry, as well as keeping both personal and health journals/scrapbooks. Had they lived longer, Addie may very well have gone on to be published. Addie once told their mom that they should be writing a memoir about living with cancer, but they were too busy actually living, to sit long enough to write about it. Addie focused on being happy and making others happy. They made beach days and nights with Ashley, friends and family, epic karaoke marathons, parties and dinners out; theater dates; endless viewings of “King of the Hill,” “And Just like That”, “Sister Wives” and “90 Day Fiance” (to name a few) better. Any gathering they attended was filled with more deep caring and joy with Addie in attendance.
Addie was never bitter and held no pity parties and never asked “why me?” in their long almost eight-year cancer journey. Addie’s strength was more than admirable, so much so, that often Addie reassured others or allowed loved ones to lean on them. Even in Addie’s darkest moments, and during their toughest days and nights of treatment, there was no bitterness or rancor in them. Addie didn’t fight cancer; instead Addie fought to live and love longer, and live and love they did even after developing renal failure the last spring of their life. Despite the grueling hardship of dialysis treatments three times a week, Addie made the best of their four-hour appointments by catching up on podcasts and television episodes; always having a kind hello for other patients; and getting needed naps all with Ashley, their mom and dad by their side, on alternating days. Addie made the best of the rides to dialysis singing on the way and back; having some needed quiet talks and appreciating any little spot of beauty: flowers in yards, the ocean’s changing mood; and even teenagers pouring out from Chelsea High School. They reminded Addie of their students, whom they missed so much, and yearned to return to so badly. Because Addie hoped to live and love a bit longer, they bravely endured one more melanoma surgery, just days before dying. Addie wanted to be out of pain for their highly anticipated, annual summer vacation with Ashley in the Crooked House on Nantucket, where Addie’s favorite activity was resting in a hammock looking out to the sea, and just being with Ashley.
Addie fought to love and live longer with Ashley, who never left Addie’s side; Ashley lovingly, patiently and profoundly cared for Addie in capacities far too many to list and with calm determination, hope and bottomless comfort. Their home in Winthrop, MA with a cozy front porch looking down to the sea, and the other end looking up the street to Addie’s synagogue, was one filled with comfort, compassion and signs of their adventures and truest love in every room and corner. Addie and Ashley infused each other with the deepest love, and as one of Ashley’s friends tenderly told her in the last days of Addie’s life, Ashley WAS Addie’s home. Truer words were never spoken. Addie and Ashley’s stunning and joyous three day wedding on Cape Cod in September, 2017 was filled with so much beautiful tenderness and love for each other and for all in attendance; it was a celebration of love and commitment that many still talk about today and agree was the best wedding they ever attended.
After being back in Boston over three years and growing closer to both Addie and Ashley, Ivan, their best man, gave a wedding speech that left not one dry eye among those of us lucky enough to be there. Addie, Ashley and Ivan were a trio of such kindness and compassion, along with a heck of a lot of silliness and pure fun, that Addie’s mother dubbed them her “Three Musketeers.” Addie adored their brother Ivan, who despite their large age gap or perhaps because of it, were a tender sibling team of boundless acceptance and shared humor. The two siblings shared a love of the “The Simpsons” and “King of the Hill” and a short hand language of similar interests. Addie was an amazing ally to Ivan as a little boy who then held him to a high standard of becoming a young man of integrity as he became a young adult. In turn, Ivan unconditionally accepted and respected Addie in all their identities, and helped relieve his sister’s worries during hospital stays as their energy waned with each passing month of their last year.
Addie traveled with Ashley, family and friends to treasured spots including Nantucket, New Hampshire, Universal Studios and Disney World, Provincetown/Cape Cod, Maine and New York City. The highlight was an epic cross country trip with Ashley, in their retro-fitted Subaru, during the second summer of the Covid pandemic 2021. While exploring awe inspiring national parks in 28 states and silly roadside attractions together, Addie and Ashley visited with friends and family along the way. Addie delighted at their freedom away from hospital stays stuck indoors and treatments tethered to machines; they enjoyed every moment with Ashley as they made their way camping under the magical moon and seemingly endless star-filled sky. Another highlight of their last year of life was Addie getting Ashley to her first Broadway show, ”Chicago,” in February 2023. Addie had backstage ticket assistance from their cousin Hannah and the two of them attended a performance with their favorite RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Jinx Monsoon as Matron “Mama” Morton.
Always ready to welcome friends and their new babies with open arms and joy, Addie was an honorary auntie, along with Ashley, to their friends Chelsea and Abdoulaye’s three beautiful children, Amadou, Idrissa and Ava, with whom they spent countless hours playing with on the floor and reading favorite books. Addie, with Ashley’s constant love and support, attended three dear friends’ weddings the last two years of their life. It took enormous determination and life force for Addie to attend the final two weddings as their body struggled to rebound from constant treatments, medication side effects and setbacks. But Addie was bound and determined to witness their friends' life transitions and celebrate their love matches.
Addie loved a good party. So, Ashley threw Addie two epic parties, this past spring: an “out of MGH” celebration, after twelve days of renal failure treatment in May, as well as what would be Addie’s last birthday celebration on June 11, 2023.. Both parties were held in Addie’s favorite places in Winthrop: the beach, a park downtown, and the home they shared with Ashley, and their beloved pet rabbit, Dennis Hopper. As they were tiring more easily, Addie insisted that they would only last “a couple of hours” at each gathering, but was still laughing, singing and enjoying their company six and seven hours later. Addie had a passion for crocs and spent the last eight weeks of their life thoroughly enjoying wearing the colorful pair that their Grandmother Na’ama gave for their 33rd birthday. Despite Addie’s increasing exhaustion, loss of appetite and speech by the middle of July their last summer, Addie and Ashley met up with their Uncle Chris and Aunt Irma for one last restaurant meal looking out at the ocean at the end of their block in Winthrop, their favorite view. Addie, their smile beaming, also enjoyed a whale watch, with their Great Aunt Yael and cousin Amos, in their final weeks. Despite not being able to swim in their beloved ocean or pools their last few months of life, being on the water and witnessing whales' majestic beauty, brought them joy. Addie loved life so much which makes their death so much more painful.
Left to mourn their memory are Addie’s wife, Ashley Marie Mallon of Winthrop, MA; brother Ivan M. Rutkowski-Ansell of Brookline; mother Mary E. Rutkowski and father Gideon S. Ansell of Brookline, MA; Grandmother Na’ama Ansell of Waltham, MA; parents-in-law Sheila and Edward Mallon of Pittsburgh, PA and their children, Addie’s sister-in-laws Dana, Nicole (Chris) and Audrianna (Nate) and their children, Makayla, Preston and Madeline. Addie also leaves many deeply loved and loving aunts and uncles: Matthew and Eileen Lefsky of Weymouth; MA; Michael Lefsky and Stephanie Kampf of Fort Collins, CO; Aliza Ansell and Ric Nudell of Cummington, MA; Seth Ansell of Pittsburgh, PA; Christopher and Irma Rutkowski of Ridgefield Park, NJ; Justine Staelin (Mark Bodig) of Steamboat Springs, CO and Anna Lessard (Jay Lessard) of Cartersville, GA. Addie also leaves their band of fun-loving, loyal first cousins: Hannah, Alya, Jacob, Leya, Ainsley, Ronan and Clara of whom Addie was the eldest. Addie was their cousins’ fearless fun-loving leader and trend setter, paving the way toward tolerance, acceptance and being true to one’s self. Addie also leaves their Great Aunt Yael Lubin of Israel, and many loved and loving second and third cousins, including Becky, Grace, Jessica, Sarah; Judith B. and Cassandra; and Daniela and Amos; whose tenderness in Addie’s last months and weeks of their life meant so much to Addie and Ashley. Addie was predeceased by grandparents: Samuel Ansell, Patricia M. Kandel, John L. Rutkowski and step grandfather Murray H. Lefsky; brother-in-law Carter Mallon; Great Aunts Mikie Lubin, Ameila Gattone and Lauretta Rutkoski; Uncle John B. Rutkowski and family friend Liora Beer.
Countless friends have come forward to share how Addie’s ability to love and accept who they were helped them do the same for themselves. Addie’s life impacted family, friends, neighbors and colleagues, far too numerous to list, but included must be those who were such a big part of both Addie’s young life and their life with Ashley: Liza, Edek, Nora, Sarah, Talia and Ola; Jahcobie, Jessica, Ione, Taoe and all the theater majors of BAA ‘08; Julia, Roisin, Kady Ruth, Lily, Chelsea, Allegra and all of the Posse 8 of BMC ‘12 and their spouses/partners; Nellie and Ashley and the Winthrop Shabbat group; Sarah, Joselyn, Amanda, Kyle, Mark and all colleagues of Excel/BHS; the “Katies”, Alma, Sean A., Linda D., Teresa H. and all colleagues of MLPHS; Jim and Genie Rogers and all the adults who welcomed Addie to the world and who became the village that helped them grow and flourish from a childhood to young adulthood: Stephanie and James; Judi K.; David W.; Louray; Mary Jean; Libby and Wojciech; Claire, Roger and Eliza D.; Susan M. and family; Virginia B. and family; Jane L., Marilyn; Kate A.; Janna and Kevin; and the best Ashmont Street friends and neighbors: Deneen, Andy and their children Darron and Drew; Ruth and her children Dave (Sherley), Nyeem, Indigo; and Dwayne, Darlene and their daughter Jasmine.
Addie was the wife, daughter, sister, grandchild, niece, cousin, daughter-in-law, friend, neighbor and colleague that we should all strive to be. They were the friend who was always there first; the one each of us could count on. Addie was a sweet, kind, hilariously funny and joyful person who profoundly impacted anyone who had the good fortune of knowing and loving them. They were a walking miracle; every day, week, month and year we had with Addie was one as well. We will miss their singing everywhere and every chance they got: car rides, road trips, beach gatherings and karaoke in bars and at home. Addie’s wife Ashley remarked once that Addie loved karaoke so much it was more unusual to come home after work and not hear Addie singing at the top of their lungs, as she climbed the stairs to their apartment, than the other way around. Whether you called them by Addie, Addie-boo; Adster; DeeDee; Mx. Ansell or Adeline Eve, our hearts are broken without them, but our gratitude for Addie’s life is boundless. We will never know what other things Addie would have accomplished in their life, had they been given more time; we do know Addie would have made an amazingly loving parent and parenting partner with Ashley as their baby is due in January, 2024. We also know Addie was so very tired and their body eager to rest; their spirit was ready to soar in the heavens free of pain, fear, worry and uncertainty. Addie’s existence and essence made so many people so happy; they will be missed immeasurably, but never forgotten. We will all miss Addie’s beautiful, huge smile and endless capacity to love their family and friends.
Addie rests in peace now. Their light is in us forever and their memory will always be a blessing.
The family of Adeline Eve Ansell would like to profoundly thank the staff of Rhode Island Hospital and Massachusetts General Hospital for their compassionate professionalism including Chaplain services and the Rabbis of MGH who helped provide shabbat candles during Addie’s many stays and a final blessing before Addie died; Dr. Donald Lawrence and NP Riley Fadden, nurses Christine and Colby, laboratory technicians and Infusion nurses of Yawkey Oncology; the nurses, doctors, housekeeping and meal delivery staff of Lunder 9 and 10, Blake/Ellison, ER department and the Palliative floor: Phillip’s House; Dr. Kenneth Tenabi, Surgical Oncology; Dr. Kevin Oh, Neurology; the technicians and nurses of the Clark Center for Radiation/Termeer Center for Targeted Therapies; RN Caesar’s compassionate care during Addie’s final visit to the MGH Emergency Department; Dr. Harish Seethapathy, Nephrology; Marta, Ruth and the entire staff of Fresenius Kidney Care in Chelsea for their dedicated care of Addie over the months, weeks and hours of their life. In addition, both Dr. Elise B. McCarthy of Adams Street Dermatology and Dr. Andrea Rohart, DMD, of Hirshberg Dental and their respective staff took beautiful care of Adeline. All these professionals made a profound impact on Addie’s life, and most importantly, kept Addie safe in the midst of the Covid pandemic, for three of their last eight years of treatment. No small feat. Bless you all!
Addie’s mom, Mary Rutkowski, would also like to thank everyone who hoped and prayed for Addie in ways too many to list; who lit candles “For the Love of Addie'' and donated to the “For the Love of Addie” MGH General Cancer Center Eversource 5K Fundraiser, Fall 2022. In addition, she thanks family and friends who participated in the Meal Trains, ordering or preparing nourishing, delicious meals and desserts delivered with so much love to Ashley and Addie’s home. Mary also thanks those who will continue to pray for and keep Addie’s memory alive for their family, especially Addie’s brother Ivan, and Addie’s wife Ashley and their baby.
Services have been held and Adeline is buried in Brookline, MA.
A future celebration of life/memorial will be held Spring/Summer, 2024.
Donations in Addie’s memory may be made to:
The Food Project, 555 Dudley St, Dorchester, MA 02125 https://thefoodproject.org/
Urban Tree Connection, 1445 N. 52nd Street, Philadelphia, PA 19131 http://urbantreeconnection.org/
The Posse Foundation, 45 Franklin St # 3, Boston, MA 02110 https://www.possefoundation.org/
National Bailout: https://www.nationalbailout.org
Or any organization that you would like to donate to in Addie’s memory