GILFORD — On December 19, 2022, Donald Carey, loved by many, died peacefully after a long illness at his home in Gilford, surrounded by family. He was a joy to be with during this period and his appreciation, love and gratefulness for his wife Barb and his family was expressed daily. He was 93 years old, born in Schenectady, New York, to Salvation Army officers Faith and Edward (Ted) Carey.
He is survived by his first wife (as Don liked to say) of 71 years, Barbara; and by their children, Ted, Brenda, Blythe, Ewing and Gita; along with 10 grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. His sister Connie passed away this year, but he is survived by their sister Flo.
Don liked to say he had three separate careers. The first from 1961 to 1971 was as a virologist working with the Rockefeller Foundation, studying tropical viruses including Lhasa fever, dengue and chikungunya while running laboratories in India and Nigeria. The second was as a pediatrician working at the Laconia Clinic for 18 years from 1971 through 1989. He was one of the first pediatricians in the area willing to attend home births. The last career was as a medical doctor taking care of U.S. Peace Corps volunteers in Benin, Togo, Ghana, and Nigeria from 1989 to 1994. He is remembered by many as a competent, compassionate, and humorous professional who touched the lives of many he cared for and worked with.
Growing up in the Salvation Army, he moved with his family several times, with residences in New York, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey. Being a good student, he got a scholarship to Blair Academy, then went on to Princeton (class of 1951) and received his MD from Johns Hopkins Medical School. He did his internship in Pediatrics at Harriet Lane at Johns Hopkins Hospital, and residency at Columbia Presbyterian Babies Hospital, New York. Between internship and residency, he did a stint with the Centers for Disease Control, Epidemic Intelligence Service, working in New Orleans. During a sabbatical year in 1968, he obtained a Master of Public Health degree from the Harvard School of Public Health.
Don met Barb, his wife and life-long partner, during the summer of 1948 working at the Seaside Hotel in Ocean Grove, New Jersey. They married in 1951. In addition to bringing up a family, and living overseas, they had many interesting and wonderful adventures together, particularly in the outdoors.
Gilford, was home for the longest period (51 years), with a break for five years while working as a Peace Corps physician in West Africa. His lifestyle in Gilford included sailing at the Winnipesaukee Yacht Club, alpine and nordic skiing, riding his bicycle to work at the clinic (weather permitting), and hiking all the mountains over 4,000 feet in New England. He became an avid cyclist, riding across the USA (coast to coast) with Barb and son Ewing, and riding to Princeton class reunions four times. Over the years Barb and Don entertained many friends and neighbors with well-remembered movie nights. He became a vegetarian (though he ate fish, eggs, and dairy) and liked to refer to his diet as primarily eating twigs and branches. A favorite quote around food came from Michael Pollan: “Eat Food, not too much, mostly plants.”
Retired life was filled with trips and adventures for Don and Barb. To name a few, climbing Mount Kenya, trekking around the Annapurna’s in Nepal, and three long walks in England (Coast to Coast, Pembrookshire Coast Path in Wales, and the Walk along Cornwall). They also completed the Great Saunter, a 32-mile walk around the Isle of Manhattan, and did bicycle tours in Ethiopia, Eritrea, Zimbabwe, and Mali, as well as the Ragbrai in Iowa. They ran the New York City Marathon together at the age of 70 and crossed the finish line holding hands. When asked about his motivation for their many adventures, he would always say that they started with Barb saying, “Don, I’ve been thinking.” In the months before his death, Don said he had done enough exercise.
Don was a jazz aficionado with intimate knowledge of the music of the '30s and '40s. He saw many of the greats in person including Duke Ellington, Milt Jackson, Mabel Mercer, Marian McPartland, Ella Fitzgerald, Sara Vaughn, Carmen McCrae and Anita O’Day, to name a few. The music and lyrics always moved him and made him smile. He was also a fan and supporter of PBS and NPR, and had a great love and knowledge of cinema. He loved scrolling through Facebook, commenting on and getting the latest updates from family, friends and strangers. Birthday celebrations with Don always included his hand-written heart-felt poems. Also, he loved to tell jokes, mainly drawn from the joke show of Prairie Home Companion.
In his later years, Don became increasingly sociable, taking the time to converse with all he met. Three major influences in his life were Louis Armstrong, William Booth (the founder of the Salvation Army) and Charles Darwin, and he was proud to have made pilgrimages to their memorial sites.
He was a thoughtful, ethical and spiritual person whose journey took him from the service-oriented roots of the Salvation Army to the Anglican church, and finally a humanistic outlook. Don donated his body to the Dartmouth Medical School.
A Celebration of Life will be held at the Gilford Community Church sometime in 2023.
In lieu of flowers, donations in his memory can be made to the Salvation Army Carey House in Laconia (send checks to the Salvation Army, 177 Union Avenue, Laconia, NH 03246 with “Carey House - Donald Carey” in the memo section).