Lawler, Ruth Ellen (Harkins) a lifetime resident of Wellesley, passed away peacefully on July 20, 2022 while at home surrounded by family. She departed this life at the age of only 63 after battling lung cancer for several years. She is survived by her husband Christopher, daughter Hannah, and son Geoffrey.
Ruth was born in Boston on April 16th 1959 to Barbara and Joseph “Steve” Harkins, both of whom predeceased her. From a young age, Ruth loved horses. As a child, she would “ride” rocking horses, stuffed animals, and her many cousins and friends whenever she had the chance. Her father, recognizing her enthusiasm, built a stable in the backyard of their Wellesley home and bought Ruth her own horse. Childhood photos show Ruth riding without a helmet or saddle, jumping over homemade obstacles by her family’s vegetable garden. Ruth’s fearlessness was evident even then.
Throughout her school years in Wellesley, Ruth cultivated many lasting friendships. This was a trend which would follow her through life. After graduating Wellesley Senior High School in June of 1977, Ruth took a gap year, before it was common practice, to pursue her passion for horses. She traveled to England to study at the Talland School of Equitation. There, she learned not only about riding, but about the ins and outs of caring for horses. Here again Ruth continued forging lifelong friendships based on her genuine care and interest for those around her.
Ruth went on to attend Colby College in Maine. Her junior year, she studied abroad in, of course, England where she attended the University of Bath. Ruth’s stay in Bath was spent making new friends, reuniting with old ones from Talland, competing on the university equestrian team, and occasionally even studying. Ruth’s sharp wit and sarcastic humor fit right in with British norms. This humor, as well as her kindness, garnered Ruth many enduring friendships both abroad and back at Colby during her time in college.
In 1983 Ruth met her future husband, Chris Lawler. They were introduced by a mutual friend who thought it could work. Despite a first date that could only be labeled a disaster, it did work, and Ruth and Chris went on to 36 years of marriage that could only be undone by death.
In January of 1990, Ruth gave birth to twins and thus discovered the other great calling of her life: motherhood. She read all the books, talked to doctors, ignored the nonsense, and arrived at a style of mothering all her own. Ruth managed to combine affection with authority and encourage independence while still being supportive. Her twins, Hannah and Geoffrey, are the proof point and she took more pride in them than anything in her life.
Ruth was active in her community, where she joined a mother’s forum, a junior women’s group, a garden club, and volunteered her time at a therapeutic riding program. She excelled in each, leaving a positive and lasting impact on all of these organizations. Even as Ruth took up new endeavors, she never stopped the pursuit of her riding passion. In 2007, she joined the Norfolk Hunt Club and took up the equestrian sport of foxhunting. Here again Ruth’s fearlessness was evident. She rose quickly through the ranks to become Master of Foxhounds at the Norfolk Hunt. Later in life, she continued to foxhunt in her adopted winter home of Aiken, SC where again Ruth forged many strong friendships.
Children, friends, horses, travel, humor and wit. These are the things that defined Ruth’s life. Her departure leaves a gaping hole amongst family and friends, but the incredible person she was lives on in our memories.
Family and friends are invited to gather and honor Ruth’s memory for visiting hours on Tuesday, July 26 from 4 to 7 PM at George F. Doherty & Sons Funeral Home, 477 Washington St. Wellesley. Masks are required. Funeral services will be held the following morning, July 27 at 11 AM at St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, also in Wellesley. Burial will be private at Woodlawn Cemetery, Wellesley. In lieu of flowers, gifts may be made to Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in memory of Ruth Lawler for the support of cancer research and patient care.