William "Billy" Farmer - our breathtaking beloved beautiful sparkling starlight - compadre in magical mischief, and best pal-o-our-hearts, died Jan. 9th at sunrise, in the peaceful bliss of morning light in his Provincetown home. Like Apollo’s three muses, his sister’s Gale, Mary, Martha, loving companion Jack Hudson, surrounded him with all the power of ineffable love. “Being with you is like living in heaven,” Billy said to his sisters and Jack. For all of us, being with Billy was always living in heaven.
Born 1953 in Syracuse, NY, to Helen and William Farmer, Billy was the second of nine children, and the first boy among his four brothers and five sisters. He was the athletic, lovable, big brother, his family’s tender touchstone, and gorgeous guide star. Throughout his life, Billy remained close and caring to both his extended beloved Farmer family of birth, and to the wide, vast circle of gay family he created in Provincetown and Boston. Basically anywhere in the world Billy went, love followed.
“Love is in the air,” Billy spontaneously sang his favorite 1970s dance tune walking his dog Brady around the sublime beauty of Hatches Harbor: “Everywhere I look around! Every sight and every sound!’ Billy followed the muse of rhythm, the beat, the tempos, the syncopation of musical sounds in the air to rummage the bins of “Streetlight Records” and “Vinyl-mania” where his mega-12-inch collection of vinyl recordings began. As Patti Labelle sang, Billy would resound and twirl, “Music is My Life.”
In the magical time in the world before AIDS, there were nights of wild unheeded dancing under the starlight dome of NYC’s “The Saint” (“Baby powder on the dance floor makes for great spinning,“ Billy said), and the extravagant flamboyant sunset light at the late afternoon tea dance where he went every Thursday for its “golden disco” revivals. He met France Jolie and Sylvester, and he spoke of the sultry smoky spiritual voice of his favorite Barry White, and exuberant joy of “Love Seems to Hang On” from Ashford and Simpson, or “Nick and Val,“ as Billy always called them.
His extensive discography history and knowledge of 70’s/80’s gay dance club and groundbreaking Motown music was a never-ending catalog of sound-wave memories and instrumental facts. Each song had its own story. An indelible moment in time. Sometimes a heartbreak, sometimes a kiss, but always - “In the whisper of the trees, in the thunder of the seas, Love is in the air,” said Billy.
“The air of Provincetown is like no other place,” Billy also said. A 25-year resident of Provincetown, he found a spiritual space, sacred spots, secrets to scatter here and there in the beech forests, pond trails and rocks at Long Point. The reverence of its sparkling waters (“The sea looks covered in crushed diamonds.”) and the luminous light of the full moons on dune hills, and moors, and the light of friendship of the many people he came to know and hold deep in his heart circle.
From his long successful brokerage career in Boston, founding his own “City Living” real estate company, to his decades of friendship and business partnership with Jon Goode at Beachfront Realty in Provincetown, to his gay basketball team buddies, to his many cherished friends who became his care team at the end: Jack Hudson, Jon Goode, Cary Raymond, Joe Castellana, Jim Seligman, Jamie O’Donnell, Jim Bracciale, Richard Kessler, Dawn Walsh, Jonathan Scott, Mike McGuill, Clarion Hesse, Paul Jones, Tommy Rogers, Tommy Hallahan, Guy Backlund, Tim Schirmang and, of course, his golden retriever Brady who never once left Billy’s side.
And all the affection and caring of his siblings who came, and stayed, and never once left Billy’s side too: Gale Testa, Mary Doyle, Anne Momot (deceased), Martha Farmer, Michael Farmer, Timothy Farmer, Kathryn Mannino, and Brian Farmer, and his 17 nieces and nephews who came and stayed with him. “My family provided me with the quality of life, safety, love, support, and the best send-off I could ever have imagined,” Billy said at the end to his partner Jack.
As the song he always sang “Hold on to My Love,” we hold onto him always and forever...
Beautiful boy Bill, Sporty Spoon sister, Esther’s July 4th water ballet/beach party’s cutest mermaid, the hottest redhead at townie drag brunch, pal-o-all the hearts, our sweetest pea….sleep now, and dream of a pond called Clapps, and a dog named Bear and a dog named Brady, and a tree named Annie after your younger sister who died before you.
One more walk around the pond before sunset. You can even hear the ocean at Herring Cove from Annie’s tree. The sea glass you left in the bark is still there.
Touch the trunk with your open palm. In the stillness you can almost feel a heartbeat. Gaze up into the grace of a bluebird sky. “Hi Annie,” you say each time.
And in the wind you can hear the words clearly now.“I’m here Billy. I’m here with you.”
Billy, a proud Gemini, requested a celebration of his life and his love for all friends and family be planned for his birthday at the beach near the Red Inn in the spring. Details will be shared in the coming months.
Billy also requested any donations in his honor be sent to the residential hospice project - a community home for living and dying -that gave him so much strength, courage and serenity: The Lily House, PO Box 1818, Wellfleet, MA 02667.