Scrawny little Joseph Phelan was almost six years old when he made his way home from school in the raging wind of the hurricane of ‘38 in Fall River, Massachusetts, and he clung to fenceposts along the way as the wind tried to lift him off the ground. Little did he know then that he was born to fly.
Joe was the son of the kindhearted and delightful Elmer Lynwood Phelan and the willful and enigmatic Florence Doran. His childhood was full of mischief, adventure, music, hard work, and fun. His mother sent him to a Catholic High School to keep him on the straight and narrow, and his father took pride in sending young Joe to the University of Massachusetts.
There, that once scrappy little boy continued in his mischievous ways, became a fraternity brother and football star, and he fell deeply in love with a beautiful sorority girl, the doe-eyed powerhouse Gail Riley, who would become his wife, best friend, travel companion, and mother of his four children: the gifted and courageous Kathleen Phelan (Tony Catalanotto), the hard-working and hard-playing Dr. James Phelan (Debra), the irreverent and hilarious late Kerin Phelan, and the fun-loving and softhearted Kelly Barnhart (David).
Joe began his career as an Air Force Pilot, flying tankers with exacting precision and refueling other planes mid-flight. His heart soared as he flew, whether over the corn fields of Nebraska or the castles of Europe. He reluctantly gave up his wings in order to be the grounded provider his family required, and he went on to become a National Sales Manager for Raytheon.
From young adulthood to middle age, Joe and Gail settled in Sudbury, MA and enjoyed an active and adventurous family and social life. They skied, swam, danced, sang, acted, travelled, and threw legendary parties. There was an annual clambake at the family summer home in Westport, MA, after which the neighborhood children would gather to hear Joe play guitar and sing “Boll Weevil,” and the family celebrated Joe’s Christmas birthday each year sitting on the floor around the coffee table with a flaming Christmas Eve pupu platter. They enjoyed annual ski trips to a farmhouse in Vermont with several dear friends and their young families, and they organized and played the WWTT (World’s Worst Tennis Tournament) on the grass courts of the Tennis Hall of Fame in Newport, RI. He and Gail’s cousins became thick as thieves and pranked one another for decades, entertaining the lot of us at family gatherings.
In 1990 Joe came to be known as “Boompa” when he and Gail joyously welcomed their adventurous and genuine grandson Michael Phelan, who is living Joe’s passion for fishing and skiing, soon followed by his thoughtful and aspiring brother Dr. Tyler Lynwood Phelan (Emily), the third generation to take that middle name. Joe took an early retirement and he and Gail moved to Venice, FL, heading north to Westport for summer. Their dream retirement was cut tragically short with the loss of Gail in 1994, but Joe carried on. In 2000, he became a Boompa once more, to the master of math and quiet sarcasm, Jack Barnhart.
A year later Joe strolled into the Half-Baked Café in Venice and was charmed by the smile of Harriet Wood, with whom he would happily spend his remaining time on earth. Joe’s newly expanded circle included Harriet’s children Alesia, Diane, Thomas and Michael, and grandchildren Alexandra Palmier (Jon Nocera), Natalie Mannarino (James Northup), and Nickolas Mannarino. Joe and Harriet, together affectionately known as “Boompiet,” lived in Parrish, FL and Westport, and in Joe’s last declining years, Harriet was resolute in his care. She predeceased him by only a matter of weeks, and the family deeply mourns her loss as well.
As a father, proud grandfather, hysterical uncle, beloved colleague and lifelong friend, Joe will be remembered for a lifetime of fun and treasured moments…sharing the secret fishing spot for striper on the Westport River and showing us the dance to find quahogs; snorkeling for lobsters at night using cat food as bait; bottling homemade wine before the dozen or so bottles cooled, then helplessly watching them all explode one by one; dancing in a coconut bra at the annual neighborhood luau; spoofing lookalike Dan Rather as “Rather Dandy” in a sales video that might have inspired Michael Scott of The Office; starring in local theater productions; singing with the family and harmonizing beautifully with Gail; reveling in the company and antics of family dogs Cindy, Laddie and Bucwheat; the smell of garlic and anchovies wafting through the cottage as he made his famous puttanesca sauce; having a silly name for everything and an endless list of nicknames for us all; tenderly holding Gail through years of cancer diagnoses and treatments, and meeting each of his grandchildren for the very first time.
In the end, Joe returned to being that tenacious, scrawny boy holding onto a fencepost for dear life during his months-long battle to recover from the winds of Covid. When he finally let go, we believe he found that it wasn’t the end of the road at all. It was merely the end of the runway, at which point he was lifted by the wind and took flight once more.
Our deepest gratitude goes to the selfless, dedicated and caring nursing staff at St. Luke's Hospital and The Oaks in New Bedford. The family will hold a private burial with the hopes of safely hosting a celebration of life when summer returns. In lieu of Phalaenopsis, donations may be sent to the Massachusetts Audubon Society, the Massachusetts Wonderfund, or FORCE: Facing Our Risk for Cancer Empowered.