WORCESTER: Jean Trayer McDonough died at home on the morning of August 22, 2021.
Jean was both pragmatic and chic, thoughtful and to-the-point. She paid attention to details. She appreciated excellence. She loved dogs (cocker spaniels and Shetland sheepdogs), chocolate (dark, very rich), and well-made jackets that never went out of style. She dressed as a witch every Halloween and never broke character when her grandchildren came trick-or-treating. She is perhaps best known in central Massachusetts for decades of generous support for Worcester-area cultural institutions.
Jean was born November 24, 1927 and refused to celebrate her birthday “on Thanksgiving”, insisting that her family gather for a birthday dinner separate from the turkey feast. She graduated from Adelphi University with a Bachelor of Arts in 1949, and married handsome Irish chemist and entrepreneur Myles McDonough in 1952. They settled in central Massachusetts and had two sons.
In 1956, Myles founded an adhesive company in a Spencer garage. Jean always remembered the beginnings of Flexcon because it shares a birthday with their first child, Mark McDonough. Jean and Myles raised Mark and his younger brother, Neil, in Paxton, and grew the company in Spencer. Jean was a Board member and Treasurer of Flexcon Co, Inc starting in 1960. She managed the company investments from 1976 to 2005 as Flexcon expanded from a single manufacturing site in Spencer to an international company. She completed the Smith College Management Program in 1980.
For over five decades Jean served as a volunteer, a board member, and a financial supporter of local cultural institutions including the Worcester Art Museum, the Hanover Theater, Tower Hill Botanic Garden, the American Antiquarian Society, the Worcester Historical Museum, and Music Worcester. She was on the Board of Trustees for the Worcester Art Museum after serving as docent for 16 years where she served on almost all trustee committees and chaired Education and Collections. She spent a decade on the Board of Trustees at the EcoTarium, beginning when it was still known as the New England Science Center. She was on the council for the American Antiquarian Society and chaired the Education Committee. She was a corporator for the Worcester Community Foundation, and vice president of the board at the Worcester History Museum. Later, she was a member of the UMass Memorial Development Foundation. Throughout the 1980s, 1990s, and early 2000s Jean could often be found leading her grandchildren, one or two at a time, through the galleries at Worcester Art Museum, down a trail at Tower Hill, or to a seat at a theater for a show. She curated outings for each grandchild’s interest, though all almost invariably included a stop for chocolate.
Myles and Jean created the Myles and Jean Charitable Foundation in 1988 to continue giving to the community and institutions they loved. In 2011, Jean and Myles were honored with the Harvey Ball Smile Award, which recognizes individuals that have “made a difference in the city of Worcester and helped people throughout the community smile.” The outpouring of love and gratitude from the community following Myles’ death in 2012 inspired Jean to gift major contributions to her beloved local non-profits while she was still alive, so she could enjoy the experience; it seemed a more fun alternative to her than having institutions celebrate her death. In 2015, Jean put this plan into action and donated $15 million to seven cultural institutions. At the announcement of this gift, she was given the key to the city of Worcester at a formal ceremony where she was surrounded by friends, colleagues, and her family. She loved the fanfare, and she looked fabulous in her outfit designed by her dear friend James Hogan.
Jean is survived by her beloved dog, her two sons, Mark and Neil, her daughter-in-law Lisa, seven grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren.
Services will be private. The family requests those who wish to express sympathy to consider visiting one of her favorite institutions in Worcester or making a donation in her honor. The J. HENRI MORIN & SON FUNERAL HOME, 23 Maple Terr., Spencer is directing arrangements for the family.
Eulogy by her son Mark McDonough
We are here today to celebrate the life of Jean McDonough. Jean was a very practical person and rarely sentimental. When I asked her if she was afraid to die she said: That’s ridiculous we all have to go.
When I asked her if she was angry about having Alzheimer’s, she said: That would be silly. There’s nothing I can do about it.
Jean always did the right thing. It took me a long time to admire that defining trait. I come from the Boomer generation. We admire personal passion, taming the world, taming your personal demons, forging a personal path to glory that bucked the system. Jean came from the Silent generation. The Silent Generation took great pride and comfort in following the “tried and true”. The Square Silents built a well ordered society that the well cared for boomers took apart for personal glory, personal pleasures, and personal liberation.
Mark and Neil were very well cared for. June Cleaver had nothing on Jean McDonough. She was always there when we came home from school with milk and cookies and asking us “How was our day?” She made sure we got our homework done. Not through helicopter parenting, but making it clear that school was our job and everyone needed to work hard at their job. Mother was always put together. No Lucy Ricardo house coat and slippers at 1 Woodland Drive.
Father came home at 5:30. They had cocktail hour to discuss my father’s day and strategize Flexcon’s next moves. Dinner was timed to come out of the oven at promptly 6:30 and always served with a table cloth and candles. Neil and I were paid 35 cents a week to set up or clear the table so we would learn the value of money.
We did not grow up in a religious household. My mother was a proud agnostic who proclaimed, “I don’t need a God to be moral.” Instead of quoting the bible she quoted aphorisms. We were raised on a boatload aphorisms. The ever practical, Silent generation loved to quote the “tried and true” guidance in aphorisms. A small sampling of Jean’s favorite aphorisms would include:
- “He who hesitates is lost.”
- “If first you don’t succeed, try, try, again”
- “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.”
- “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.”
- “A word to the wise is sufficient.”
- “To whom much is given, much is expected.”
- “God helps those who help themselves”
- “Moderation in all things.”
To which I would always reply with a knowing smile, “Including moderation.”
And then there was the big behavior test, “If you aren’t sure about whether to do something ask yourself, ‘Would you be proud to have it show up on the front page of tomorrow’s NY Times?”
Everyone who knows Jean loves her quick wit. She was a punster and was famous for droll come backs. I remember well, being on an escalator in Filene’s and gingerly explaining to my mother my New Age beliefs. I told her that auras were real. I explained that the halos painted over the heads of saints were a real phenomenon and I had even seen them myself. Without skipping beat, she replied, “We’ll I’m sure you’ve have seen one over my head, haven’t you?”
In actuality, she would NEVER want to be called “St. Jean”. From her perspective, she only did the right thing. No big deal. It’s what any rational person would do.
Well, she did a do a big deal with Worcester. She and my father put a big hunk of cash into a foundation for the benefit of Worcester. She and my brother interviewed six cultural organizations to allocate 15 million dollars so they could “do the right thing.” The Hanover Theater, Worcester Art Museum, American Antiquarian Society, the Ecoterium, Music Worcester, and the Worcester Historical Society all benefited from her “doing the right thing”.
My mother was an Olympic level sleeper. She told me once, “I sleep well because I have a clean conscience.” That for me is the greatest legacy of Jean and Myles. They always did the right thing. They taught Neil and I that there were no short cuts, nothing replaces the value of hard work, and always play it straight because it always works out better in the long run.
She had a long run. She always “did the right thing”