Clare Dorothy Carr McLaughlin of Sophia Snow House, West Roxbury, Mass., passed into eternal life on June 14, 2021, at the age of 89, in the presence of family and following a short illness.
Clare was an extraordinary wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, teacher, neighbor, and friend. In her last days, she lavished love, comfort, and encouragement on everyone around her, from family members present and absent to the Brigham and Women’s nurses who cared for her so kindly.
She was born on March 7, 1932, in Dorchester to Anna Christina (Lynch) Carr and John J. “Joe” Carr, descended on both sides from immigrants who left Ireland around the time of the Great Famine. Her father drove a coal truck, and she used to ride along on deliveries—which may have contributed to her impeccable sense of direction and encyclopedic knowledge of Boston shortcuts. After the death of her mother when Clare was eight, she was raised mostly by her grandmother, Mary Connelly Carr, and aunt, Dorothea Carr, on Julian Street in Roxbury. Her father died when she was 15.
She attended Saint Margaret Parish schools and, in 1949, graduated first in her class from Monsignor Ryan High School, where she was class secretary and earned national medals for Latin. She put herself through college working in the Boston Public Library’s Mount Pleasant, Parker Hill, and Readville branches. In 1953, she earned a degree in elementary education from Boston Teachers College; at graduation she received an award for the graduating senior who “best represented professional womanhood.”
In 1947, Francis Michael McLaughlin, then 18, first saw her at the Denison House, a Dorchester settlement house, wearing a pinstriped skirt and white blouse—but she was too busy with geometry homework to notice him. His luck changed when he volunteered to spend the week before Labor Day helping to close up at the Denison House camp in Georgetown. When he boarded the camp bus, he discovered that the beautiful girl with the blond hair, blue eyes, and wide, welcoming smile was going to be cook’s helper for the week.
Frank was only one of many young men who lined up to help her peel potatoes and clear tables so she could join them swimming in Bald Pate Lake, visiting the Topsfield Fair, and square dancing on Plum Island—but perhaps he was the most persistent. Six years later, on a sunny February day on the steps of the Boston Public Library in Copley Square, where they went to study every Sunday, she told him that if he asked her to marry him one more time—by then, he had been proposing for years—she would accept. They were married on July 10, 1954, at St. Paul’s Church in Dorchester followed by a reception at Philomathia Hall at Boston College, where Frank later became a professor of economics and taught for 54 years.
Clare taught second grade in the Quincy School System for two years before the birth of her first child. From 1955 to 1982, she devoted her energy to educating six sons and five daughters, earning a master’s degree at Boston College in early childhood education in 1973, and beginning a 40-year stretch teaching First Communion classes. For five years in the 1980s, she directed the Saint Angela Parish summer day camp in Mattapan, and from 1982 to 1998 she taught at the Apple Orchard in Brookline, where scores of preschoolers (and their parents) benefited from her deep knowledge of child development, her endless creativity, and the irresistible sunshine of her smile.
Being bored was not in her vocabulary. Always curious and eager to learn, she loved to travel, visit art museums, and read. Well into her 80s, she was still organizing a monthly gathering of friends to view and discuss educational videos borrowed from the library. Over tea and cookies, they worked their way through Impressionism, the human brain, astronomy, and other topics. She had a special knowledge and love of children’s literature. Over the years she gave thousands of books to the children in her life, carefully selecting each one and dedicating it to the recipient in her flowing cursive script, punctuated with exuberant exclamation points. Among her favorite authors were Ludwig Bemelmans, Jan Brett, Eric Carle, and Tomie DePaola.
She was a mainstay of every Boston parish she lived in. She was a lector, served as a Eucharistic minister, taught in the Boston Archdiocese’s Master Teacher program for Christian Doctrine, and taught in parish programs for children and adults. She and Francis mentored hundreds of engaged couples in the Pre-Cana marriage preparation program.
In her final days, she sustained herself and her family with prayer, and said her goodbyes with hope, humor, grace, and gratitude. Her attention to detail never flagged as she reminded one visitor to have her parking ticket validated, congratulated grandchildren on birthdays and graduations, and described the precise location of items she needed brought from home.
Abiding in faith, she confronted death without fear, anticipating joyful reunions with friends and family who preceded her, especially her grandson Michael F. McLaughlin Jr.; her son-in-law Ted Murphy; her sister, Anne Phillips; and her brothers, Francis and William Carr.
She is survived by Francis M. McLaughlin, her beloved husband of 67 years; by her 11 children: Maureen of Arlington, Va., and husband Art Hauptman; Joseph of Macungie, Penn.; Christia of Bellingham, Mass.; Patricia Carey of East Lyme, Conn., and husband Daniel; Michael of Falmouth, Mass., and wife Carolyn; John of Natick, Mass., and wife Catherine Morley; Francis of Dover, Mass., and wife Colette; Paul of Westwood, Mass., and wife Paula; Catherine Murphy of Concord, Mass., Clare Connell of Walpole, Mass., and husband Daniel; David of Arlington, Mass., and wife Beth; by 26 grandchildren; and by five great-grandchildren.
A few days before she died, she told a hospital chaplain that when she arrived in the next life, she hoped someone would be there to greet her. The chaplain asked who she wanted her greeter to be. “I hope it will be the Lord Himself,” she replied. Anyone who knows and loves her has no doubt that on June 14 the Lord was waiting for her with open arms.
Visiting hours will be held on Friday, June 18, at the Gormley Funeral Home, 2055 Centre Street 3-7 p.m., with the Rosary at 6 p.m. A funeral Mass will be celebrated on Saturday, June 19, at 10 a.m. at St Theresa of Avila Church, 2078 Centre Street, West Roxbury. Interment to follow at Saint Mary’s Cemetery in Needham.