Pamela Dunbar Cole, 57, of Westport, formerly of Providence, RI died peacefully on July 27 at Vibra Hospital after a lengthy hospitalization. Her death was precipitated by complications caused by four years of dialysis, while waiting for a kidney transplant.
Pamela was the wife of Michael Cole who died in 1998. She was born in Boston, MA on May 13, 1961. After she married Michael, they moved to Palm Springs, CA where they worked together to start a business. It was there that their daughter, Emily Grace Cole was born in 1991. After Michael died, Pamela and Emily moved to New Bedford where Pamela worked, finished her undergraduate studies and began to study law at New England School of Law. Unfortunately, she did not complete her studies, despite performing exceptionally well in law school, because she became ill and was subsequently hospitalized several times.
Pamela is survived by her loving mother, Sara Dunbar Waters and step-father, the Rev. Dr. John Waters; her beloved daughter Emily and her fiancé Brian Kaufman (who both lived in the hospital with her for many weeks); her three brothers, W. Robinson (Rob) of Wilmington, NC, William (Bill) Howland of Kiawah Island, SC, and John Howland of Greenfield, MA, and her friend Denise Gradin, who has lovingly cared for her during this long and difficult year and a half.
She was the daughter of the late George F. Howland.
Pamela had many obstacles to overcome in her life, physical and emotional. Her answer to these was to care about the suffering of others and to love unconditionally. She refused to take a live kidney donation because she felt it might jeopardize the donor's health.
She was a voracious reader and had an incredibly memory. She put these qualities together when studying history and current events. She always made intelligent and caring observations on every subject. She showed compassion for the disadvantaged and was especially concerned about the lack of resources available to them. Her desire was to finish law school and work to help women obtain services.
Pamela exemplified the words in Micah 6:8 (The Message; the Bible in Contemporary Language): "Do what is fair and just to your neighbor. Be compassionate and loyal in your love. And don't take yourself too seriously - take God seriously."
The world is a better place for her life. She is and will be missed, but her light shines on.
Arrangements are private.