Emlen Maray Cote, of Bedford
A beautiful, fiercely independent, and loving soul departed this life for a better one on Wednesday night, February 1.
Emlen (Betley) Cote was at her winter residence in Falls Church, Virginia, when she was called to her “next great adventure”.
Mrs. Cote was born in Manchester, one of five children to Polish immigrants, Ignacy and Maryanna (Gdul) Betley. She attended Manchester schools and graduated from the former Mount St. Mary College, then went on to Columbia University.
She married Roland E. Cote, a prominent business man, CEO of Cote Bros. Sunbeam Bakery on Elm Street. Shortly after their honeymoon to Canada, the spirited young wife left her husband to complete her graduate studies at Columbia. This was the era when young women were not encouraged to be independent, but Mrs. Cote always marched to the beat of her own drum – hell, the whole damn band! – and she did what she always encouraged her children to do: follow dreams. The Cotes were devoted to one another. She was his “Living Doll” and he was her “Sweetheart”.
She dearly loved late night movies, beautiful clothes, violet perfume, champagne, chocolate, jewelry, and her daughter’s dog, a shelter rescue maltese-poodle she called Bingo. When asked why she refused to call the dog by his given name, Bartley, she would laugh and say, “Because you yell Bingo! when you win at Bingo, and I am a winner to have him”. Among her favorite times were sitting on her balcony at her beachfront condo in Maine with Bingo at her side, watching the waves, or going out for lobster rolls, and then feeding him what she considered his fair share. (Always, always, too much.)
Barely out of her teens, Mrs. Cote decided to try her hand at acting. She appeared in Broadway productions and summer stock at the Ogunquit Playhouse in Maine. Among her thrills was appearing in the same production in Ogunquit with Anthony Quinn.
A pair of deep purple high heels nearly caused her death in September, 2008. The heel of a shoe caught on the edge of the carpet as she was going up the stairs and she tumbled backwards, the grim result being a traumatic brain injury. Despite being declared essentially dead at a Manchester hospital, she made an impressive recovery once she was moved to Massachusetts General Hospital and later, Spaulding Rehabilitation Center in Boston – places for which she remained most grateful. Her complete recovery was due to skilled doctors and nurses, and God’s grace. But it was also due to her sheer strength of will and stubbornness. She was not one to give up easily. Or at all.
Mrs. Cote remained active until her sudden and unexpected death. During the winter, she enjoyed theater at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C., and trying different restaurants. She loved staying up till dawn with her daughter, drinking hot chocolate heavily laced with Bailey’s Irish Crème and watching movies. (Amusingly, this consummate lady got a kick out of gangster films, her favorite being Good Fellas!) In the summer, she was a frequent attendee at the Ogunquit Playhouse, often regaling others with long-ago stories of her own performances. She looked forward to Maine seafood with her son, followed by ridiculously large ice cream cones. She adored her Bedford home in the fall and winter, often just sitting and gazing at the view. She loved to read and discuss world events, and this past year’s election particularly. She liked meeting new people and hearing their stories. She made friends easily. She could charm anyone, once so much so that a maître d’ at a Las Vegas restaurant insisted the family’s meal was on him! She was elegant and vivacious and generous, and had people eating out of her hand.
Mrs. Cote was a published author, and had completed a novel that she had hoped to get published before her untimely demise. The manuscript is about the life of Polish immigrants toiling for near-slave wages in the grim Amoskeag textile mills in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, but retaining their bedrock values of faith and families – an observation she garnered from her parents and Manchester’s Polish community, and values she passed on to her own children.
Always committed to her family, Mrs. Cote selflessly cared for her parents as they aged, and did the same for two sisters. Aside from her husband and parents, she was predeceased by her brother, noted Manchester architect John D. Betley, and two sisters, Helen (Betley) Stacy and Ann (Betley) Armstrong. She is survived by her daughter, Lyndi Cote of Falls Church, Virginia; her son, Neil Cote of Saco, Maine; her sister, Jane (Betley) Shea of Westwood, Massachusetts; her godson, Brian Shea, also of Massachusetts, and a niece, Cheryl (Morris) Dulak.
Visiting hours will be on Tuesday from 5 to 7 PM at J. N. Boufford & Sons Funeral Home on 110 Bridge Street, with a Mass of Christian Burial on Wednesday at 10 AM in St. Hedwig Church, where she was a lifelong parishioner. Committal prayers and burial will follow in Mt. Calvary Cemetery Mausoleum.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations in her name to the Wounded Warriors Foundation. As the sister and husband of World War II veterans, and the aunt to a disabled Vietnam veteran, honoring our nation’s military heroes was a cause dear to her.
Mrs. Cote was thankful for the gift of longevity, and awaits resurrection and reunification with her beloved family members.
Bon Voyage, and God Speed! How you will be missed!
For more information and online guestbook please visit www.bouffordfuneralhome.com.